This October I went to Singapore to visit my sister. Alone.
Travelling to Singapore might not be such a big deal, anyone can do it, I have even done it multiple times several years ago. However this time, it was a huge deal for me. It was the first time after being sick for so long that I managed to travel by myself.
For the past years, I have been travelling with either a friend, my parents or sister. My doctor told me that I should always be accompanied due to my panic attacks. I could be fine one minute, and be completely stressed the next causing me to feel sick and have migraines. I just felt safer when someone was there, just in case something went wrong (and in most cases something did go wrong!).
October is my sister’s birthday month and I haven’t been able to celebrate it with her properly the previous years. Considering my good health this year, I decided that it was time for me to travel by myself to Singapore. I am in process of being a more independent person, I don’t want to cling to other people forever. I have also been trying to manage my stress (it’s not easy!) with breathing exercises, yoga and also help from a therapist. I wouldn’t say that I’m completely stress-free but there are small progresses. I figured it was time I put myself out there.
I was lucky that I could get a non budget airline at a reasonable price. I was relieved that I didn’t have to hand-carry my luggage since I am still not able to lift heavy things. I made sure I had everything, including my boarding pass and passport (I held on it so tight since the last time I flew to Singapore for a transit I lost my boarding pass and I panicked).
Even though my sister did pick me up from the airport, I made it! Yes it was a really short flight but I made it! I was just so happy. Three years ago I was laying on my hospital bed, not able to walk and was thinking how on earth I could ever go travelling on my own. And here I am doing just that!
During the week in Singapore, I mostly travelled with my sister since she took days off to celebrate her birthday. Then on the weekdays when she was working, I had absentmindedly agreed to meet a friend in town for dinner. I went out on my own since my sister was still at work, took the bus, and as I sat on the top deck of the bus I realised that I was travelling to town by myself on a bus AND I was sitting on the top deck! I conquered the stairs of a moving bus (you have no idea how impossible it would have been three years ago, I couldn’t even enter a bus without the help of someone!).
I really had a great time in Singapore and not only because I got to meet my sister and my friends, but I amazed myself at the progress I’ve made.
Celebrate the little things, I say, even if it seems meaningless to others.