Cancer Talk #30: What’s Next?

Mid 2016

After several rounds of chemo, my doctor told me I needed to get a PET scan. I hate PET scan. I don’t mind the actual process of PET scan, but I really dislike that moment when the result is in my doctor’s hand.

Anyway, I took my PET scan as planned and guess what? My cancer was almost all gone except for a small part. I was mad, because ALMOST is not good enough for me, I wanted to hear it’s ALL gone.

My doctor looked at my result and he told me that he thinks chemo wasn’t working anymore. Well, he could keep giving me chemo and it would probably make that small part go away but chances are, it would come back again.Read More »

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Cancer Talk #28: Learning to Surrender

Mid 2016

(I haven’t updated Cancer Talk in a while because….I have been enjoying life :D)

By mid 2016 I had done several rounds of chemo. Don’t ask me how many times, because I forgot.

Ask me about the name of drugs used in my chemo, I won’t know.

Often I can’t remember whether my lymphoma is Hodgkin’s or non-Hodgkin’s.

Some may call me ignorant, not caring enough about my disease, or reckless even.Read More »

Cancer Talk #27: Back Fighting

March-September 2016

Let’s do a little recap shall we?

By this time I:

  • had been jaundice (so, yellow) for a whole year
  • had gone to ICU twice
  • lost my muscles’ strength
  • lost all my hair
  • had done several rounds of chemo and radiation
  • lost around 14kg of weight
  • had done several months of oral chemo at home

I was due for another check up. I knew that I still had to fight some more. So I left the comfort of my home, by this time I was enjoying making pouches and momentarily forgetting the fact that I have cancer. Being back at the hospital was mentally hard for me.Read More »

Cancer Talk #25: Home

November 2015 – March 2016

Being at home was simply wonderful. I couldn’t help but feel relieved. I managed to smile for the first time in a long time.

I still had some physical pain here and there but I was managing. I had a physiotherapy coming to help me loosen my muscle. My mum consistently reminded me to exercise. There were times where I felt very lazy. Sometimes I felt like I’d never be able to walk like before then I’d break down. As always my mum was there for me, firmly telling me I had to pick myself up, it was gonna be hard but I could do it. So I did.Read More »

Cancer Talk #24: Radiation

July – October 2015

After several rounds of chemotherapy, I was allowed to go home for a few weeks. It was so good being home although I was exhausted. That few weeks went by so fast. I had to be back to Malaysia for a consultation.

My doctor wanted to do PET scan to see the effectiveness of the chemo. After being home, all I wanted was some good news.

I shouldn’t have been so optimistic. I should’ve kept my expectation low. But no. I wanted the scan to be clear, that the cancer cells miraculously disappeared. It would be a miracle. I would tell people, bewildered by this miracle.Read More »