This October I went to Singapore to visit my sister. Alone.
Travelling to Singapore might not be such a big deal, anyone can do it, I have even done it multiple times several years ago. However this time, it was a huge deal for me. It was the first time after being sick for so long that I managed to travel by myself.
For the past years, I have been travelling with either a friend, my parents or sister. My doctor told me that I should always be accompanied due to my panic attacks. I could be fine one minute, and be completely stressed the next causing me to feel sick and have migraines. I just felt safer when someone was there, just in case something went wrong (and in most cases something did go wrong!).Read More »
Last year I asked my doctor if I could swim. He said, “sure why not!”
…and then I never got around to actually doing it. The reason behind this is I remember what my physiotherapy said to me back when I couldn’t walk. Remember that? It feels like years and years ago that I was bedridden, unable to move freely and completely dependent on my parents to do the simplest things like getting out of bed, sitting down and going to the loo. Every time I remember it, it freaks me out. I never ever want to experience all that again, it’s too scary.Read More »
I haven’t written here on Cancer Talk for quite a while.
First of all I’d like to thank everyone who gave me good wishes on my transplant. The first few months of 2017 were dedicated to recovering from my transplant. I recovered well and then around March (or April – I cannot remember), I did my scan and the result…well, it was disappointing. While most of the tumours have disappeared, there were still a few left. To my doctor, the transplant was not a total failure. However, he was concerned of the few remaining and so he told me to do radiation, which I did obediently.Read More »
After several rounds of chemo, my doctor told me I needed to get a PET scan. I hate PET scan. I don’t mind the actual process of PET scan, but I really dislike that moment when the result is in my doctor’s hand.
Anyway, I took my PET scan as planned and guess what? My cancer was almost all gone except for a small part. I was mad, because ALMOST is not good enough for me, I wanted to hear it’s ALL gone.
My doctor looked at my result and he told me that he thinks chemo wasn’t working anymore. Well, he could keep giving me chemo and it would probably make that small part go away but chances are, it would come back again.Read More »
Sometimes I feel
People tell me they understand me
But really they don’t
Read More »
(I haven’t updated Cancer Talk in a while because….I have been enjoying life :D)
By mid 2016 I had done several rounds of chemo. Don’t ask me how many times, because I forgot.
Ask me about the name of drugs used in my chemo, I won’t know.
Often I can’t remember whether my lymphoma is Hodgkin’s or non-Hodgkin’s.
Some may call me ignorant, not caring enough about my disease, or reckless even.Read More »
Let’s do a little recap shall we?
By this time I:
- had been jaundice (so, yellow) for a whole year
- had gone to ICU twice
- lost my muscles’ strength
- lost all my hair
- had done several rounds of chemo and radiation
- lost around 14kg of weight
- had done several months of oral chemo at home
I was due for another check up. I knew that I still had to fight some more. So I left the comfort of my home, by this time I was enjoying making pouches and momentarily forgetting the fact that I have cancer. Being back at the hospital was mentally hard for me.Read More »